i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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