you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
These tits shall not be calmed
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
