I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
