were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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