you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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