You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize