Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
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the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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