Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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