I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
