i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
