when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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