I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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