just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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