Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
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At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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