I CAN MOONWALK!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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