I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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