this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
