That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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