I want to make a zoo with you.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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