Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why are your pants in the freezer?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
