I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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