i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
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