We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
