Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
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