Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
