omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
