I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
