I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
