ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Randomize
