Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
