you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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