well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
