Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so let's talk penis.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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