You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
