Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Welp...herpes.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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