this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
