last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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