I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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