My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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