Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize