Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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