Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize