Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize