Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
