I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Randomize
