I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
