): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
