dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
