I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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