i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
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btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
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I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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