Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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