Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
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I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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