i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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