Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
that's an acceptable place to lick
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
