i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize