love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
