Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It was confusing and full of hummus
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
