tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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