brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
