I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
