Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
