dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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