East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
