I think my fart just growled at me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
