if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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