There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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